I was reminded the other day about young children and Halloween. They do not like the costumes. Why? Because for young children the line between fantasy and reality is not a clear line. Remember that for children, seeing IS believing, so you can start to think about what goes on in the child's mind on Halloween with all it's costumes.
Maybe it goes like this: "If I put on a mouse costume then I AM a mouse. " [Then I'm not John anymore and that's scary.]
Children get upset when parents put on eyeglasses or change hair styles. "Maybe you are NOT my parent - but some other person."
So Halloween is not a fun thing until you are old enough to know about object constancy....until then, changing visions may mean the object has really changed.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Behaving - what does it mean?
We all want our children to "behave." The eternal question is what does it mean to behave? Each family, each culture, each society has it's own "rules" for it's citizens. What I want my child to do may not be what you want your child to do so maybe it's better to talk in developmental generalities?
Behaving is means following the rules of your own society - but in order to do that, people need not only to know what the "rules" are but to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. they also need to want to act in a correct way, and they need the ability to control themselves.
That's a lot to ask of most people, let alone young children. Here's an example of "behaving." Long ago, a friend came into her living room to find her 5-year-old carefully smearing toothpaste on a wooden tabletop. After counting to at least 20, she asked him "What are you doing?" "Mommy," the child said, "the toothpaste cleaned my teeth so good, I wanted to clean your table for you." She thanked him for helping her and proceeded to explain that just as there was a special cleaner for teeth, there was one for tables and showed him where the table cleaner was.
[Before going on I do have to add that we now know that toothpaste is a good cleaner for tables and this kid was way ahead of the curve on this : -)]
Many parents might have said " Don't do that" or punished the child in some way....But what did this child learn about "rules?" He learned there are other ways to be helpful [wood polish] , that he was a good kid for helping mommy, and that we can discuss behaviors. The child may not have been aware at the time that all this was being learned, but it was a step on the path to making decisions about himself and his behavior.
Behaving is means following the rules of your own society - but in order to do that, people need not only to know what the "rules" are but to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. they also need to want to act in a correct way, and they need the ability to control themselves.
That's a lot to ask of most people, let alone young children. Here's an example of "behaving." Long ago, a friend came into her living room to find her 5-year-old carefully smearing toothpaste on a wooden tabletop. After counting to at least 20, she asked him "What are you doing?" "Mommy," the child said, "the toothpaste cleaned my teeth so good, I wanted to clean your table for you." She thanked him for helping her and proceeded to explain that just as there was a special cleaner for teeth, there was one for tables and showed him where the table cleaner was.
[Before going on I do have to add that we now know that toothpaste is a good cleaner for tables and this kid was way ahead of the curve on this : -)]
Many parents might have said " Don't do that" or punished the child in some way....But what did this child learn about "rules?" He learned there are other ways to be helpful [wood polish] , that he was a good kid for helping mommy, and that we can discuss behaviors. The child may not have been aware at the time that all this was being learned, but it was a step on the path to making decisions about himself and his behavior.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Back to school?
I took off from blogging a lot this summer and enjoyed doing things with my son who spent the summer here...
Children are back to school and back to eating those lunches you make...please make them healthy!
We are entering a new generation of obesity and now it's not just adults who are obese - it is expected that the number of children who are obese will hit 20% by the year 2010 - that's only FOUR years from now.
I heard or read somewhere that we are reaching that stage in obesity where this or the next generation of children will NOT have a longer life span than the parents...
Not only is obesity bad in and of itself, it makes all other medical problems worse....
I've been blogging about healthier children for a while now and hope the readers of this blog are among those who will not have obese children...It is something parents have control over during the child's early years...and good nutrition early on can never be a bad choice...
Please watch what your children eat and make sure they get exercise....
Children are back to school and back to eating those lunches you make...please make them healthy!
We are entering a new generation of obesity and now it's not just adults who are obese - it is expected that the number of children who are obese will hit 20% by the year 2010 - that's only FOUR years from now.
I heard or read somewhere that we are reaching that stage in obesity where this or the next generation of children will NOT have a longer life span than the parents...
Not only is obesity bad in and of itself, it makes all other medical problems worse....
I've been blogging about healthier children for a while now and hope the readers of this blog are among those who will not have obese children...It is something parents have control over during the child's early years...and good nutrition early on can never be a bad choice...
Please watch what your children eat and make sure they get exercise....
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