What to do when......

I am often asked “what do you do when....?”
Or “What do you do to get [child] to do [x]?”
Do you reward, punish, time out, ignore, etc.
And if so, what do you do to punishment, to reward etc.

It’s a long list of questions when you fill in the blanks – and there are no specific answers that I can give you...

How you raise your child is up to you – assuming you do not abuse or neglect.

For each question asked, I can pose back a whole lot more:

Why do you ask?
What about the situation is important for your child?
Is this your issue or the child’s?
What else is going on in your home? Work?
Is this issue worth a big fight?
In the long run is it really that important?

I do not know your families and cannot answer specific questions...but I can give some education and advice.

Your child is yours; he/she is an individual with a set of experiences, feelings, thoughts and interests that are different from yours and different from all the other children in the class or neighborhood.

If you read some earlier posts, you saw that I wrote about uniqueness, cultural, familial and other differences. All these factors go into making your child one special being who is, at the same time, a citizen of your home, neighborhood and universe.

It’s tough being a kid – you need to learn a lot, to practice what you are learning and to ultimately make your own way in the world while still being a social creature who lives among parents, family, classmates and all.....

Here is a personal example... my son was never a good student in his early years. Did I punish him for failing classes or not doing homework? No - I explained that these were his choices and that no matter how he did in school I loved him – but that I was disappointed about those choices he was making.

Years after finishing high school, he finally decided he really wanted to go to college and was turned down in his first application due to his high school grades..[I did not say I told you so.]

So off he went to a community college and then transferred to the school that had turned him down - where he is now on the Dean’s List and invited to be part of the Honors College....

Would he be here now if I had forced the issue when he was younger? I don’t think so – neither does he...

One of his comments to me a few years ago was that I picked my fights carefully as he was growing up. There were issues I ignored and some I did not – but to the now grown-up him the one’s I picked as issues were the ones that he now knows are important as values to live by.....and it was great to hear him say that – because for me, in the long haul, having an adult child who is a caring, thoughtful human is the important part of child rearing.

Others may disagree -- but go back to where I started this post – how we raise our children is a choice we make. The scary part is that we do most of it in hopes that it works out.

But I am also a believer in the idea that we can always change - so if you make what you consider a mistake with your child – you and your child can always make changes in what you are doing.

More lead in toys

Again if you have young children around - or know of any with Mattel toys in the house - please read and take action if necessary...

If this weren't so serious, the saga of ongoing recalls of products made in China would be a running joke..... Today's recalls are about toys - again...from Mattel - again.....


One recall is due to lead; the other due to small magnets....

The company, in a statement issued from its headquarters in El Segundo, Calif., said it was recalling a total of 436,000 Chinese-made toys, more than half of them marketed in the United States, that had “impermissible levels of lead.” The toys are die-cast vehicles featuring the Sarge character from the movie “Cars.”

Mattel said the hazard in the products, made between May and July, was discovered as part of an investigation of all its toy manufacturing that began in July after it received a tip about lead-based paint. The latest move involves toys from a different Chinese contractor than the one that produced toys recalled earlier this month, it said.

The separate action today involving a design flaw in 18.2 million magnetic toys, about half of them sold in the United States, expanded a recall initiated last year after reports of deaths and injuries to children who ingested magnets that had come loose. Mattel said the recall covered 63 varieties of toys, made since 2002 and sold before January of this year, including 44 Polly Pocket toys, 11 Doggie Day Care toys, 4 Batman toys, a One Piece toy, and two Barbie toys.

Here is a link to the Consumer Product Safety Commission listing all recalls [so far] for this month

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerelaug07.html

Beware- more leaded toys

This in the news today:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Mattel Inc.'s Fisher-Price division is recalling almost 1 million toys made in China because their paint may contain too much lead, marking the latest in a string of recalls that have fueled U.S.-China tensions over the safety of Chinese products.

Mattel said the 967,000 plastic toys, which include popular preschool characters like Elmo, Big Bird, and Dora, were made by a contract manufacturer in China using a non-approved paint pigment containing lead, which is in violation of its standards.

Full article HERE

Why are all these dangerous products still coming in? We have had bad pet food, bad people food and bad children's toys. No one seems able to stop them because no one is monitoring our safety! We have few person who do the actual inspections - in fact there are fewer food safety inspectors than back in 2002 and we import more and more stuff - with fewer and fewer inspections!

This from an administration that pretends to be concerned with public safety - when they are in reality more concerned with scare tactics and keeping people afraid.

After all - Fear is good for republicans...